enigmatic adolescents

Conundrums of an Ambiguous Drama Queen

Month: January, 2015

Pop Song.

She leaned against the wall of her room, her head slowly moving from left to right to an old Beatles’ tune. She bit her upper lip and her hair covered her face, she didn’t bother tucking it back behind her ears like she usually does. He sat at the edge of her tiny bed and stared at her, in awe and bewliderment. Everyone thought they were crazy, people had seen them scream at each other in public and minutes later, kissing like it was the end of the world. They had this deranged and consuming love, which both of them loved as much as they hated it. He knew everything there was to know about her and she knew everything that he wanted to tell. Silence was astonishingly comfortable, they preferred it to talking. She often said, there’s nothing that a warm hug can’t fix. Our bodies can communicate with each other without having to use words.
Her eyes were closed as she slowly moved to the melody, she completely strayed from reality. She wasn’t thinking anything, only feeling… feeling strangely content.
He stared at her, thinking of the first time he heard this song at a party in his best friend’s basement. He saw her the first time that day, dancing exactly like she was right now. She was wearing high waisted dark denim jeans and a Rolling Stones’ tee shirt, which looked like it had been cut short deliberately. Then too, he was amazed by simply looking at her. He could see it all play in his mind, how he went and stood next to her and started to dance. Unlike most, she didn’t think he was a creep for coming up to her. They didn’t talk… just danced, danced and danced. There was no need to be somewhere else or with someone else. In that moment, they felt like they had just finished a warm bowl of soup on a cold winter night.
He felt as if he was in both moments simultaneously.
The same song played in the background, he felt the same but he was in two different moments all together.
He wondered how one little pop song could hold so many powerful feelings.

-Thanks to the movie, Before Sunset for inspiring this.


Love Letters.

Dear someone,
I like it when you stare at me and then pretend you weren’t looking at me. I like how your eyes turn from brown to this shade of gold in the sun. I like how everytime we talk, you reveal another side of you.

You’re all shades of the colors of the rainbow, or even more. You’re the voice in my head, always there, soothing me, even when you’re not. You’re the ink in my pen, giving me a means of expression, expressing what you make me feel.

I like how when we first met, you didn’t talk much. Now look at you, can’t shut your mouth. I like the way you hold up my chin to make me look at you in the eyes, and then kiss me. I like that little tinge of red in your hair. I like the scars on your bare chest, they signify you from the rest.

I like you, every inch of you and who you are.

Why don’t people write letters anymore? They should. Letters have the ability to show someone what they look like through your eyes.
To me, you, my dear, are what happiness looks like.
I like being in love with you.
I really do.

Voices and Hallucinations.

“These voices are creeping me out.” She texted him.
“It must be your parents, don’t freak out.” He tried to calm her down.
She knew what she was hearing, it was not her parents, it couldn’t be. They had slept hours ago. It could be the neighbors but it was 2am and it was dead silent, execpt some noises she could hear. She suspected someone was talking about her, talking about waking her up. She could hear hurried footsteps up and down the small winding staircase leading to the terrace close to her room.
“I’m not kidding. Someone’s here.” She wanted him to believer her, but all he could think was that she was just imagining it.
“I have to sleep now. You’ll be fine, just try to sleep, okay?” He left.
“Don’t you dare leave.
Come back.
You can’t leave like this.” No response.
She finally decided to get up but couldn’t gather the will to actually walk up to the door and open it. She had spent many a night, holding her pee because she was too scared to walk to the bathroom in the dark. This wasn’t an irrational fear, she was sure she had seen people in her house before. She often wondered why this only happened when the sky was pitch black, this thought sent shivers up her spine and made her feel cold. She had never felt this unsafe before.
She finally got up, her hands trembled as she put her hands around the door knob. The door creaked open and she looked around, she could see a lady… An old lady. Her face looked vaguely familiar. She could hear every contraction of her heart and every gush of air she let out through her nose. It was was just her grandmother.
She let out a sigh of relief.
“Dadi,” she called out.
“You scared me. What are you doing up so late? Go back to sleep.”
“I couldn’t sleep because I knew you couldn’t either.”
They smiled at each other, this had happened before too. They simply looked at each other for a while.
She felt this sudden urge to cry and with ease, tears started to roll down her cheeks. Her grandmother hugged her and caressed her head, she soon fell into a peaceful trance.
Next morning, she woke up in her bed, with dried up tears on her cheeks and smiling, but it quickly turned upside down.
“I wasn’t dreaming.”
“But my grandmother’s dead.”